Hello, hello! Welcome to Tuesday, week 6.
Ah, where to start.. I hope you had a lovely Easter! I certainly did, but not the way I planned it.
In my last blog, I explained the full day planning for yesterday. The brunch, shopping, and dinner scenario… Well, honestly, it didn’t happen! I mean, it did… Just not with me!
I woke up on Monday, feeling fairly all right. I got a meal in, was starting to get ready for this full day, but halfway through my make-up I starting to get the early signs of a migraine. If you’ve had a migraine before, you know that it often means the ending of your day, or at least the introduction of painkillers and a nap…
After some back and forth in my mind, I decided that it would be a fool’s errand to go to Eindhoven at that point. I was already not happy about the prospect, but even less so starting with this.
So, everybody went without me and I stayed home to let the migraine pass and just relax instead.
Now, I will admit, when reading it like this it might all sounds so easy. It seems like a very logical approach, and many people who struggle with migraines know that this is the only solution to the problem most days. Yet, in the moment itself, I felt absolutely terrible. Fighting back tears, having to hear from a parent “I am worried about if you will be able to go to South Korea at the pace”. The only thing that went through my mind was “the more I worry about it, the worse it will get. Today, I need to choose to take a step back to set a solid foundation for the next baby steps. No leaps can be made right now.”
And it might have been one of the better choices I have made in a long time, once again. Because after my parents left, I cried for a bit – getting the emotion out, I took a short nap, was able to eat afterwards and did some work. It also created room in my head to start thinking further. I am making progress in what I can do, but the progress is VERY slow. I want to live life, and to do that I need more improvement.
So today, I have 2 non-negotiables for myself. We all live with certain lines we will not cross, yet I am very bad at setting boundaries and healthy habits for myself. An example, when I am busy, I tend to leave my physical and mental health on the back burner and focus on the “more important” tasks first. Even my brain knows that this is an incredibly twisted mentality, but it is my default nonetheless.
And that needs to change!
So yesterday, I set up two non-negotiables for myself – my boundaries – and I am going to test those over the course of this week. I will report on the results later this week, as I do not wish to sell the skin before I caught the bear. First I test my theory, then you will receive the findings!
However, there is at least one discovery I did today:
By not spending all day yesterday exhausting myself, I felt really well today. I had planned this day completely off, because I expected to need a recovery day after the busy fully-booked second day of Easter. Considering the Easter shopping didn’t happen for me, today has become a very nice productive day. I can truly say that I have no regrets. The realization of “not being well yet” was painfull, but my choice was right.
See you on Thursday!
I feel so sad to hear that you cried again and you had a migraine so you didn’t finish what you have planned for Monday. Well, what’s more can I say, I hope everything is best for you, and you should maybe be a bit more kind to yourself, instead of forcing yourself to complete all the goals that you have made for yourself in this block. I think the reason why you had a migraine so suddenly, is because of the sequel of COVID-19. To be honest, your health should always be your first priority, without a healthy body we can’t do shit, am I right? Fortunately, I hope you are getting aware of it, and I’m glad to see that you felt great on Tuesday again.
To be honest, unfortunately, you were not able to go on the family trip. But still, you know your body best and you should always put yourself first especially when it concerns your physical and mental health. There is still some time until going to South Korea and I hope by this time you would feel at your best self. I understand your parents and why they are worried. First, they are parents and second because it will be your first time living alone and somewhere really far away from them they are just worried. It is a big step in setting your boundaries and knowing what is best for you. Everything will be okay!
Owh no little one 🙁 We all have to meet up again, seeing your post about being in this state of mind. Cant bear it, stress can f u up and it shows. At least you wont have to re-do today.